The things that I don’t know

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Yesterday the cousin of one of our teachers has been killed in a targeted assassination. It felt like one of those stories that you read on the newspaper and you think they will never be part of your life because they belong to a foreign elsewhere. One of those stories that are beyond the ordinary and have nothing to do with the normality of the everyday.

I am here to run a school. Before I started, my idea of what my routine would look like included the revision of teaching methods, the achievement of artistic excellence, grades and disciplinary notes. What turned out to be a part of my ordinary administration is also the management of situations that are extraordinary, alien and emotionally destabilising – which, however, in a country at war are sadly integral to daily life.

Impermanence and transience are difficult to conceive as some of the inevitable ingredients of our life; they are difficult to digest as a force that roots you in the present rather than as a windstorm that erases any sense of direction.

The concept of resilience is often abused and quoted far too frequently and light-hardheartedly. But it is moments like this, when all the things that I don’t know lay bare, that reveal the mysterious strength that we have inside and we’re often not aware of. It is an immense force that helps keeping things together; that helps continuing to look ahead; a silent strength that protects the desire – as Vittorio Arrigoni used to say – to stay human.

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Make Hope

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At the Institute we are going through a period of transformation. Before we can start building new things, we have to do a lot of cleaning up and should not forget the bigger picture in spite of the frustration coming from tons of banal daily tasks.

Fear is often the first response to change along with great diffidence for those who want or have to promote alternatives.

Yesterday I was talking to my colleague, the real cornerstone of the Institute, about this complicated period: about what we are doing, what is expected of us and about how we need to keep focusing on the vision we are striving to realise. My colleague is a very serious person, a man of few words; discussions with him don’t divert from what is essential neither do they indulge in gossip or self-celebration.

The problem in this country – he told me – is that nobody looks at the future; people are not even sure that a future exists. That’s why we are all here holding on to the present, trying to get the most out of it for ourselves, for our own personal interest, without even thinking of a greater good.

I replied that such an attitude is an enormous obstacle for those who are working in education as they build in the present with an eye to the future.

It is a matter of bad habits – he continued. People are happy with what they have now, the little privileges they have accumulated and close off against anyone who tries to question them.

A bit discouraged, I asked: What are we doing here then?

Before averting his eyes and going back to work, he answered: We are here to make hope.

I just can’t stop thinking about this conversation. These two words – make hope – have completely changed the way I look at things. I have always thought of hope as a dimension of the heart and the soul; as a beautiful feeling, a source of optimism that may however run the risk to turn into a passive waiting for a better future to come. And now I discover that hope is something you can make.

I think this is the beginning of a small revolution. I came to the Institute thinking that I was here to revive the educational offer and now, all of a sudden, I find myself to be here to make hope. The weight of such responsibility terrifies me, but at least now I know that I am in a domain that is familiar: whether I succeed or not is a different story, but at least I can try – at least there is plenty to get my hands dirty.

 

The synagogue of Kabul

IMG-1266There are places that seem to be made of the stuff of legend: you know that they exist, that they are there somewhere, but their physical dimension remains abstract and mysterious.

The synagogue of Kabul is one of those places: over these past years it has been a place that almost only existed in an imaginary space– until recently.

I had read a number of articles about “the last remaining Jew of Kabul”; about his bad temper, his passion for whiskey and about the dispute with another Jew – who died in the meanwhile – to claim the right to be called the last Jew. Many colourful stories, but nothing specific about the synagogue itself.

A few days ago, without too much planning and almost by chance, we manage to visit the synagogue with three of my colleagues. As if following a script, Mr Simantov – the last Jew – answers to our desire to go for a visit with the request of a bottle of Johnny Walker Black Label. We don’t obviously have any bottle with us on a random Saturday afternoon so we try to negotiate only to hear in return that he does not do things on credit for anyone. We go away a bit disappointed for the missed opportunity. Loneliness, however, must have won Mr Simantov over as he calls us back within a few minutes and says that instead of a bottle, for this one time, he could make do with some cash.

While a lot, or maybe too much, has been written about him, too little has been written about the synagogue.

From the outside the signs of a place of worship are almost non existent; only the eye that already knows where to look will find the stars of David carved out in the windows or decorating the battered turquoise metal gate. At first sight, the door seems to be ajar; it is instead curved up and a bit stuck for being so rarely used. As we look around a bit perplexed, the local cigarette sellers directs us to the back door: you need to go through a bright orange restaurant selling chips and kebabs to reach it. Once you go through the kitchen and cross the building’s threshold the brightness of the neon tubes is replaced by dim light and the stale smell of old fried oil. The turquoise stair railing is an intricate embroidery of iron stars. Hardly anyone climbs up the stairs, the layer of dust is thick and homogeneous.

We spend some time talking to Mr Simantov, who now lives in what used to be the women’s prayer room. It is painted bright green and has a maroon moquette; the gas stove leaks slightly, it makes me cough. Simantov tells us that the synagogue was built in 1966 with the donations from the Jewish community in Herat; he says that in the good old times there used to be hundred and fifty Jewish families living in Kabul. He says it is not because of the Taliban that they left, but because they migrated to Israel and the state of Israel doesn’t give a piss (verbatim) to restore the synagogue that has been damaged by years of conflict. The community itself has never been a target, war has no preference.

We finally get to see the synagogue. Just outside the door there is an old toilet covered in dust and the glass of many windows is broken. We enter and, as we cross the room, our steps leave footprints in the dust. The synagogue doesn’t have a copy of the Torah, but in a cupboard there are old papers and documents eaten up by time and moths. The lamps on the walls are fixed on small plaques that carry the names of the dead.

It is a silent, desolate place. It is abandoned. It is memory’s cemetery, a memento mori, a monument to time.

For those who, like me, work for the preservation of heritage, places like these speak directly to the heart: they are both an accusation and an invite, a request to stop and think. You can’t fight against time, you can’t save every place, every stone, every monument. You need to learn to chose, to let go, to accept that abandon itself has a message to communicate. But then we can, and possibly should, keep telling stories so that these wonderful memory’s cemeteries can continue to survive.

The smell of Kabul

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I have just landed in Kabul after almost four months, it is the longest I have been away in these five years.

I remember that once my friend Ty, who at that point had not been in Kabul for quite some time, asked me to write him about the smell of Kabul as it would hit me as soon as I arrived. It has been a few years since, but never got around doing it. So here I am, better later than never.

The first thing that reaches the nostrils, “in body and spirit,” is dust: as it rubs against the asphalt, as it covers rose bushes, as it creates an opaque patina that makes everything blurry. And then there is the smell of melting plastic: it is the rubber frames of car windows that wait for hours under the sun, either because of traffic or for the lack of trees. Speaking of traffic, the exhaust of old, battered Toyota Corolla heavily contributes to the mix. Besides the actual smells, there are those you build in your head: like the one that may come from the watermelons stored in the truck that crossed the road; or that of sweat and youth of the school bus full of little girls driving before us with closed windows despite the heat. They kept me company for a good part of the road pulling faces and laughing together across the windshields. There is the smell of the end of summer, with wafts of humidity announcing the coming of autumn and the forecast of the sting of the black smoke coming from sawdust stoves in winter. Above all, is the smell of return that, in spite of doubts and hesitations, welcomes you like the hug of an old friend.

Liberticide

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“It happens slowly, irreparably, slyly. What was the title of that song? Killing me softly. That’s how freedoms are killed – for the most.”

I write on Chapati Mystery about the slow, inexorable curbing of freedoms.

You can find the full article here.

UR/Unreserved

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UR/Unreserved is an arts project stemming from the collaboration between maraa arts collective and Anish Victor. UR/Unreserved embarks on a train journey to investigate the margins of negotiation of identity in contemporary India.

The trigger for the project was an SMS that circulated in Bangalore in 2012 targeting specifically the population of the North Eastern states of India. The message warned the receivers that, had they not left immediately, they would have paid the consequences. The SMS proved to be fake, however, many people fled overnight, by train, fearing for their lives.

Interrogating what it means to belong, how people identify, what are the processes of representation connected to identity, what are the markers that “give away” who people are. These are fundamental questions that urgently need to be addressed in the current political context in India.

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Eight young artists from Karnataka, Kerala, Assam and Kashmir will travel for a month in sleeper coaches and unreserved train compartments engaging fellow travellers in conversations around their own experience of individual and collective identities. Through performative techniques, magic tricks, songs and games they will facilitate the possibility of an exchange around a subject that is now too risky to address with strangers. The material gathered from these conversations will become part of public happenings and of a travelling exhibition.

To make this important arts project possible there is an ongoing crowd-funding campaign.

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To support Unreserved by contributing to cover the production expenses, you can give your contribution here.

Mondana Bashid

A concert in Manchester; an ice cream parlour in Baghdad; a fun Saturday evening in the heart of London; a busy crossroad, a demonstration and a funeral in Kabul. Tens if not hundreds of people dead or wounded. And all this without considering what happens in Syria, in the rest of Iraq, in Nigeria as it doesn’t make the news any longer.

These are days full of fear and exhaustion. Rejection and suspicion seem to be the easiest solution: closing all the doors; building walls, turning our backs to everyone who’s other than us. It is in fact the worst choice because it means to fall in the trap, to play by the rules of terror, to accept to be blackmailed.

Manchester, Baghdad, Kabul and London are shouting back at the peril of slipping into bigotry.

This morning on a signboard on the London tube it was written: “Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.” And in the ice cream parlour in Baghdad, they went back to work five days after being hit. And Kabul – where people queued to give blood and appealed to unity and doctors worked with no rest and journalists stayed strong on the frontline to tell their story – reminds us the immense value of humanity.

In Afghanistan, where a courteous culture still gives value to the ritual of exchanging greetings, I learnt one of the most beautiful wishes: Mondana Bashid – may you never be tired.

I don’t thing there is anything better we can wish each other in a time like this when tiredness, fear, exhaustion and helplessness risk to take over.

Mondana Bashid to the citizens of Kabul, to emergency‘s doctors, to my Afghan friends who still believe in the future. Mondana Bashid to each one of us and to all those, no matter where they are in the world, who still have the courage to hope and to make things a little better.

Who cleans the city?

After the IS attack at a demonstration in Kabul on the 23rd of July 2016, I wrote a tribute to those who clean the city afterwords and allow us to move on with dignity. We all thought that it was worst attack since 2001 – until yesterday when Kabul was hit again. The figures of the attack are mind-numbing: 93 killed and more than 450 injured.

Today, sadly, my thoughts go again to those who clean the city.

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The day after is always difficult.

Yesterday’s suicide attack has been the worst in Kabul since 2001–the victims were all civilians, all young: a terrible blast for the already fragile heart of the city.

With the sombering and heavy attitude that characterizes a national day of mourning, the city this morning woke up and went on with its business as usual. Kabul is a strong city, a city that reacts and doesn’t break. Her formidable resilience is one of the first things one discovers and falls in love with upon moving here. Life goes on no matter what, you roll your sleeves and move on–this is a way of looking at the world that is a profound source of inspiration.

This morning I woke up with a thought that I still can’t get out of my head: I keep thinking about those who clean the city, about those who work before day breaks to remove all the traces of a horror such as yesterday’s.

It is well known that Kabul’s strength is in her ability to start afresh every time, but we don’t know anything about those who make it possible, about those who scrub the blood off the asphalt, who collect what remains, who hose away all that has to disappear.

We probably owe them the fact that we can move on, to these silent restorers of normalcy; to those who, in Kabul or Baghdad or Srinagar, have the task of disguising smells, of remodelling the facade of the ordinary, of hiding the traces of traumas that are too difficult even to imagine.

I don’t know who they are, I don’t know their faces and I wonder what they may think – a prayer or a curse–while they clean up surrounded by the night. I thought, however, it was important to write about them – to exorcise that obsessive thought, but also to pay my respects to those who, probably without knowing, allow us to look ahead into the future.

 

Important questions

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A while ago, a friend of my mother’s asked me if one of her 8th grade students could send me some questions for a research she was preparing for her final exam. I said yes without giving it too much thinking. A few weeks later I received the questions and realised how much responsibility was attached to my answers. I was faced with the difficult task of balancing honesty and simplicity, of keeping my cynicism at bay while articulating my answers so as to give full value to the sensitivity of Sara’s questions. It gives me hope to know that, in the general confusion of these blind times, a thirteen year old girl would like to know what is going on in different corners of the world. As our “interview” has been for me a very important occasion to stop and reflect, I thought it would be nice to share it.

Sara: What are the daily life conditions of the civilian population?

Francesca: In the past year, things in Afghanistan have deteriorated. Even though the war here has almost been forgotten, its impact on the civilian population is still enormous. UNAMA, the UN Agency that is specifically dedicated to Afghanistan, recently published a report stating that 2016 has been one of the worst years for civilians since the beginning of the war. Because of the on-going violence, in the last twelve months 650 thousand people have been forced to leave their homes and head to nearby cities or villages or ended up in refugee camps in order to find a safer place to live. Imagine: the population of fifteen cities like Avezzano [our home town] forced to flee: the numbers are immense and mind boggling. Moreover, this past winter, things have been even more difficult as there has been a lot of snow and avalanches. Many remote areas of the country have been almost impossible to reach because of the conflict hence making the living conditions of civilians – especially the poorest ones – really dire.

Sara: Are there still terrorist attacks? How can people protect themselves?

Francesca: The only way we can protect ourselves from war is to continue living our daily lives without being overpowered by fear. Keep going and keep working for a better tomorrow: I don’t think there is any other possible protection.

Sara: Can you communicate easily with local people? Do you think you manage to understand their needs and hardships?

Francesca: I work with art and cultural production. We can say that my work – in Kabul as everywhere else in the world – is dedicated to the needs of the mind and the spirit more than to the needs of the body. I have spent the past four and a half years in Afghanistan concentrating on this kind of “care”. I have learnt a lot in these years and I keep learning something new every day. In order to be able to understand – to use your words – people’s needs and hardships the important thing is to listen, to be open to the reality of a new place without the presumption of having all the answers and all the solutions before even having landed. Such a blind attitude will take you nowhere and will bring no good to you or to anyone around you.

Sara: How many and which organisations are active in the country and for which purposes?

Francesca: Afghanistan is full of local and international organisations active in various fields: from education to the defence of the environment, from building roads to vaccination. Some organisations do very good work, they are serious and committed; others take advantage of the many existing needs and of the fact that the international community continues to send a lot of money. It is really a mixed bag. If I have to give you an example of excellence, I have no doubt: emergency is at the top of the list. They build hospitals for the victims of war; they work with bravery, dedication and humility. We really have a lot to learn from people like them.

Sara: What is the security situation for you volunteers?

Francesca: It is important to understand that the majority of those who work in Afghanistan are not volunteers, but paid (sometimes overpaid) professionals who do their job in a difficult context. Taking care of the foreigners’ security is a very complex and incredibly costly business made of armoured cars, bodyguards and so-called security protocols – that is rules and practices of behaviour in a situation of risk. There are many nuances and your questions opens a complicated reflection on how to behave as well as on the “why” of certain choices.

Sara: Is there still a possibility to improve the political situation?

Francesca: The possibility of improvement is something we should never ever doubt – else we lose hope for the future. The real challenge is to understand the path for this improvement and the required ways and timelines. This is a shared responsibility between governments and civil society. For those like you, who are far away, it is important to keep remembering these wars even though they are no longer prominent in the news.

Domande importanti

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Un po’ di tempo fa, un’amica di mia mamma mi ha chiesto se una sua allieva potesse mandarmi delle domande sul lavoro che faccio per la sua ricerca per l’esame di terza media. Ho detto di si senza troppo pensare. Dopo qualche settimana mi sono arrivate le domande di Sara e mi sono resa conto che alle mie risposte era legata una grande responsabilità. Mi sono trovata davanti al compito difficile di bilanciare onestà e semplicità, tenendo a freno il cinismo e articolando delle risposte che valorizzassero il tono attento e sensibile delle domande di Sara. Da speranza sapere che nella confusione generale di questo tempo cieco, una ragazza di tredici anni abbia voglia di conoscere quel che succede in altri angoli del mondo. La nostra “intervista” è stata per me un’occasione importante di riflessione che mi fa piacere condividere.

Sara: Qual è la situazione attuale relativamente alla vita quotidiana dei civili?

Francesca: Nell’ultimo anno, in Afghanistan le cose sono molto peggiorate. Nonostante questa sia una guerra quasi dimenticata, il peso che il conflitto ha sui civili è enorme. L’agenzia delle Nazioni Unite che si occupa specificamente dell’Afghanistan, l’UNAMA, ha pubblicato un nuovo rapporto la scorsa settimana in cui rivela che il 2016 è stato uno degli anni peggiori per i civili dall’inizio della guerra quindici anni fa. Per le continue violenze più di 650 mila persone solo lo scorso anno sono state costrette a lasciare le proprie case e spostarsi in città o villaggi vicini o in campi profughi per cercare un posto più sicuro dove vivere. Immagina, quindici città grandi come Avezzano costrette a spopolarsi: sono numeri enormi e difficili da immaginare.

Questo inverno, poi, le cose sono state particolarmente complicate perché c’è stata tanta neve e molte valanghe e alcune zone del paese sono quasi impossibili da raggiungere per via della guerra, rendendo la situazione dei civili – soprattutto dei più poveri – ancora più pesante.

Sara: Ci sono ancora attacchi terroristici? Come i civili possono difendersi?

Francesca: L’unico modo in cui ci si può difendere dalla guerra è continuare a vivere la propria vita e non farsi sopraffare dalla paura. Andare avanti e continuare a sperare in un domani migliore, non credo ci sia altra difesa possibile.

Sara: Riuscite a comunicare facilmente con le persone del posto, e a rilevare le loro difficoltà/esigenze?

Francesca: Io mi occupo di arte e produzione culturale. Il mio lavoro – a Kabul come in ogni altra parte del mondo – è, se la vogliamo dire così, dedicato alle esigenze della mente e dello spirito, più che a quelle del corpo. Ho dedicato gli scorsi cinque anni a questo tipo di “cura”. Sono anni in cui ho imparato molto e continuo ogni giorno ad imparare qualcosa di nuovo. La cosa importante per, usando le tue parole, comunicare e rilevare le esigenze delle persone è quella di essere disposti all’ascolto, di essere aperti a capire la realtà di un posto tanto diverso dal nostro senza la presunzione di arrivare in partenza già con tutte le risposte e le soluzioni a tutti i problemi. Un atteggiamento del genere penso che non porti da nessuna parte e non faccia bene né a noi né a chi ci sta intorno.

Sara: Sul territorio quante /quali associazioni/organizzazioni operano e per quali scopi?

Francesca: L’Afghanistan è pieno di organizzazioni locali e internazionali che si occupano delle cose più disparate, dall’educazione, alla difesa dell’ambiente, alla costruzione delle strade e alle vaccinazioni. Alcune organizzazioni fanno un gran buon lavoro, serio e importante; altre approfittano un po’ del bisogno e del fatto che la comunità internazionale continua a mandare tanti soldi nel paese. C’è un po’ di tutto. Se ti devo nominare un esempio di eccellenza, su tutti c’è la nostra emergency: costruiscono ospedali per le vittime di guerra, lavorano con coraggio, dedizione e umiltà; la loro è una storia da cui c’è davvero molto da imparare.

Sara: Qual è il livello di sicurezza di voi volontari?

Francesca: E’ importante chiarire che chi lavora in Afghanistan non è un volontario, ma un professionista pagato (a volte molto) per fare il proprio lavoro in un contesto difficile.

La sicurezza degli stranieri è una cosa complessa e costosissima fatta di macchine blindate, guardie e quelli che si chiamano protocolli di sicurezza ossia dei modi di comportamento da tenere in situazioni di rischio. Ci sono molte sfumature e questa è una domanda molto complicata che apre delle riflessioni molto complesse sul come ci si comporta e il perché di certe scelte.

Sara: Esiste secondo voi una possibilità di migliorare la situazione politica?

Francesca: La possibilità del miglioramento è una cosa di cui non si deve mai dubitare, altrimenti si rischia di perdere la speranza per il futuro. Capire quale sia il percorso necessario per il miglioramento, con i suoi tempi e modi, è la grande sfida e una responsabilità condivisa fra la società civile e il governo. Per chi sta lontano, credo che la cosa importante sia non dimenticare le guerre perché ad un certo punto non fanno più notizia.

Sara: Quali siti posso consultare per avere uno spaccato reale della situazione politica e sociale?

Francesca: Non conosco molte risorse utili in italiano. C’è il sito di emergency http://www.emergency.it/index.html; ci sono gli scritti di Giuliano Battiston che viaggia spesso in Afghanistan http://talibanistan.blogautore.espresso.repubblica.it/ e ci sono alcuni articoli interessanti su Q Code Magazine http://www.qcodemag.it/